Dana, Almost 30, New York City
Sometimes guys do this thing that’s kind of creepy while they’re giving oral sex. I know it makes me sound like a crazy person to say that it’s creepy but, I don’t know, it just is to me. When guys give oral sex (on a bed) there’s a simple science to it. They usually get both their arms tucked underneath your thighs, and they loop them around the top. That way they can lower their head freely, move your legs up and down as they please, or as they need, etc.
I casually dated this one guy who not only liked performing oral sex very much, but he was phenomenal at it. Only problem was he would loop one arm the normal way and grab for my hand with his free one. Then he would stare up at me a majority of the time he was down there. I would let my head rock all the way into the pillow to avoid his eyes, it kind of creeped me out. Occasionally a girl wants to look down at you while you’re there, admire your work. But I could never look at him because every time I glanced down he was staring back at me. All I could think was “what is he looking for?” It didn’t take away from the skill of what he was doing surprisingly (which means if he had concentrated his attention down he could have been even better). And then it was more weird because he’d be holding my hand with his our fingers intertwined.
I understand that it was probably his failed way of trying to connect while we were intimate. But we were only casually dating and so for me I just wanted the sex good and dirty. If I wanted to make love I would have sought out a relationship. He never made a concerted effort to date seriously so I kept my emotional distance as best I could in order to avoid getting my feelings caught up and therefore hurt. But he was so emotional and sensitive in bed, and the oral sex thing was just extra weird. I mean, it certainly didn’t stop me from having sex with him numerous times. Maybe if I loved him it wouldn’t have seemed so weird. When I told my friends they thought it was the funniest thing they’d ever heard. Am I the only girl who feels this way?
